"[BCZ] WE SEE IN EACH OTHER'S FACE, THE FACE WE NEVER STOPPED WANTING. BCZ WE SURVIVED & SURVIVAL BREEDS DESIRE 4 MORE SELF. A FACE WE NEVER STOPPED WANTING @ THE SAME TIME AS WE TRY 2 OBLITERATE IT"

a lil krugery 

a lil krugery 

i'm looking through old YOU DA drafts. this poem below didn't make it in the book. i don't know exactly why.  not fully formed thought on immigrant status (the remembering of the father) as a recurrent death. as in, when you keep all your documents and favorite sweaters in a secret go-bag under your bed cuz "there might be a fire" or something. 

***

YOU DA ONE REJECT
 xxv. There’s a fire. What do you take out of your house
xxvi. There is a fire 
xxvii. There is a fire
xxviii. This is the fire
xxix. This is the 
xxx. This is the
xxxi. This is the

I reject the body after the internet. It’s been almost a year since the big trip. I feel plural. I feel so fucking plural. forgetting, in Mourning Diary RB calls it a “passing ‘sickness’” – but that’s not what is happening here. Here, I’m insisting. Don’t you feel my insistence.